You may have read my goodbye to my little kitty, Qiqi. That’s still painful to think about, but she had a brother, Erer, and he and I are carrying on.
I can now think and talk about Qiqi without crying, but I can’t do that if I see her picture or think about her in any real way. Even now, I see a situation when I think, “Qiqi would do…” this or that. It’s hard.
I think it might have been harder for Erer. There’s just no way to explain to a cat how, when, or why his sister passed away. He’s doing OK now. Seems to be, anyway. He’s no longer looking around for her or crying out for her, but I don’t know.
Erer is much more possessive of me than he used to be. He used to spend most of the day sleeping on my bed, with Qiqi at the other end. I think that just having Qiqi there on the other side comforted Erer. Now, however, Erer is always with me. He sits on my lap or spends the entire day next to me on his chair. He will no longer let me out of his sight. If I have to leave for a little while, that seems to be OK, but when I get home, he’s always on me like glue.
That’s OK. As I’ve said, there’s no way for me to explain what happened to his little sister (they don’t have the same parents, but they grew up together and Erer is a few days older than Qiqi was). I am perfectly happy to accommodate Erer’s grief. Everyone handles grief differently, and all the more so, a different animal. Erer can’t tell me, either, how exactly, he feels.
Still, I am careful to show Erer the love I have always shown him. It was hard at first, because I missed Qiqi so much. But it was clear how much Erer missed his sister. It’s impossible not to react to that.
He and I are doing OK. We’re adjusting. I suspect that people who don’t keep pets may not understand all of this. It’s not like losing a family member, right? Erer isn’t exactly a family member, just an animal, so what’s the issue, right?
No. I’m mostly estranged from my family, and my kitties have been my only family for nine years. The loss of Qiqi was, and still is, very difficult for me, and Erer’s grief at losing her is very real to me.
He and I are doing OK. I think Erer is taking it harder than I am, if that’s possible. But he and I are carrying on. We will be OK.
Thanks for reading.
She certainly had a good life with you, she looked happy and cared for.
By the way, Erer has always jumped into your lap, did it come with time or did you teach him to do it? My cat likes to be close, but not that close. 😀
That cartoon made me cry again. She was cared for, as well as I could, anyway. Erer has always jumped in my lap, completely on his own, hahaha. He’s just needy.
I feel your grief as if it were my own. Cats are OUR family, too. Losing Porker still brings tears to us both and he passed almost two years ago. Like Erer, BooBoo went through grief for the loss of her (friend) and/or tormenter. It always seemed as if BooBoo just wanted Porker to leave her alone, but once he was gone she didn’t really know what to do with herself. She’s better now; at 17 years old she still climbs over fences and eschews the litter box in favor of “the great outdoors.”
It’s really painful. My friend Karol’s cat recently had to have surgery, and even though he’s my student, I refused to start his lesson a few times until he told me how his kitty was recovering from surgery, and I almost cried with relief when he told me that the kitty would be OK.